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Welcome to the Western White House, Pardner!
The Western White House is the private ranch home of President and Mrs. George W. Bush. Located in the remote, charming hamlet of
Crawford, Texas, the Western White House is a modest and photogenic reflection of the Bush family's folksy, down-home authenticity.
Completed in 1999, the Western White House was designed by President Bush himself, and is notable for its patriotic and evocative melding
of architectural highlights from Baptist prayer halls, medium security penitentiaries, and antebellum tobacco plantations.
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While photography is prohibited inside the Western White House, these floor plans offer an exciting and informative glimpse
inside the private, yet wholesome world of America's most beloved political dynasty.
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NOTE: Western White House Interior Styling by Marge Davis: Official Decorator to Mrs. George W. Bush.
- The normal population of Crawford is only 631 people. When President Bush comes to town, that number increases ten-fold, as thousands
of arrogant Jewish journalists arrive to shamelessly broadcast liberal lies – often straight from the President's own front lawn!
- There is no naturally occurring surface water in Crawford. President Bush remedied this small oversight by God in 2001, with the
construction of his strictly private 375 million gallon gamefishing and cigarette boat racing lake.
- The temperature in Crawford on an average summer day is 112 degrees Fahrenheit. No Siesta-taking lazy Mexican he – President Bush
routinely runs multiple sub-seven-minute miles under these punishing conditions.
- Ever attentive to the transportation needs of the President, his guests, and servants, Hertz Rent-a-Car
of Crawford maintains a gleaming, dedicated fleet of Hummer Limousines, Ford Excursions, and
ringworm-infested burros for their respective use.
- Crawford's official motto is "1295 miles from Washington DC, 97% White, and ARMED TO THE TEETH!"
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