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THE WHITE HOUSE
Teens! The First Lady & Rock Music Players Want YOU to...
Young People! Are millions of years of the myth of "evolution" whispering fevered pornographic commands to your hormone-engorged genitals? Well don't listen! Instead, First Lady Laura Bush suggests you "tune in" to her good friends, the multi-platinum rock music players SATANICIDE, and their new libido-crushing anthem of patriotic teen abstinence, "Keep It In Your Pants!"

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS" (MP3: 2.4 MB)

Ohhhh, I feel like makin' love tonight.
But somethin' about you girl, oooh, well it just ain't right.
So step back woman, and let me breathe.
Cause I get a little ill when you lie this close to me.

That's why ya...
Keep it in your pants.
There's a time for abstinence.
Girl this ain't no excuse.
I just don't wanna f**k you.

Well tonight I'm goin' down the shore.
Gonna get my fill, in the titty bars.
With the girls givin' all them lap dance,
Gonna make it really hard.
To come back home and lie in bed with you.
Well I keep it in my pants if it's the last thing I do.

Keep it in your pants.
There's a time for abstinence.
Girl this ain't no excuse.
I just don't wanna f**k you.

Keep it, keep it in your pants. (repeat)

GET A FREE ROCK MUSIC POSTER!

CLICK HERE for a FREE ROCK POSTER!



Devlin Mayhem: (Vocals)
"There ain't no rush to go out and start plowing the hotties. I mean, just enjoy middle school - herpes can wait till later."
Aleister Cradley: (Guitar)
"Sex ain't something you do till you get older. Unless you're a freakin' fagit, and then you better not never do it ever!"
Baron Klaus Von Goaten: (Bass)
TRANSLATED FROM THE GERMAN: "The sexing is to have for only adults. Also, with trampoline for frolicking in the poo."
Sloth Vader: (Percussion)
"It takes shitloads of energy to get chicks into the sack. If you're smart, you'll just save up for a really good hooker."
Laura Bush: (Triangle)
"The hymen is a deeply private and shameful thing – which should be saved until marriage, and reconstructed after childbirth."


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