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12.30.2006:
SADDAM HUSSEIN EXECUTED: President's Statement Celebrating the Awesome Snuffing Out of America's Most Hated Sand Coon
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12.30.2006:
PATRIOTIC KIDS CONTEST! Draw Saddam Hussein Dying and Win an Authentic Executioner's Ski Mask!
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12.29.2006:
Remembering Gerry Ford: President Bush Mourns Loss of Innovative Bestower of Felony-Erasing Pardons
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12.27.2006:
Gerald Ford Dead at 93: Breaking News as Delivered by Shining Beacon of Tabloid Quality
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12.18.2006:
BarneyCam 2006: Join Barney Bush for a Festive Romp Around the Jesus-Flavored White House
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12.15.2006:
Holiday Flashback: Enjoy a Very 1970's Christmas Greeting From America's Super-Wholesome Royal Family
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12.12.2006:
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS: Mrs. Betty Bowers, Spiritual Advisor to the President, Reports From the Front Lines
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12.09.2006:
Vice President Cheney and his Wife Offer Very Special Holiday Wishes to Their Christian Taliban Base
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12.07.2006:
President's Statement on Bitchy Report From Crusty Old Geezers Intent on Losing the Awesomely Prosecuted War on Evil
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12.04.2006:
Poppy Bush Expresses Effusive, Non-Wimpy Pride in His Prodigal Son's #1 Smash Hit War
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12.01.2006:
President Makes Triumphant Return From Mega-Successful Summit With Annoyingly Willful Puppet Who Blew Him Off
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11.28.2006:
FIRST TWINS 25th BIRTHDAY: Vacation Update From Family Values Poster Children Jenna and The Other One
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11.25.2006:
President Bush Proudly Appoints Dr. Eric Keroack as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Wayward Vagina Containment
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11.23.2006:
THANKSGIVING 2006: President's Sincere and Heartfelt Prayer of Thanks to America's Official (Christian) God
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11.19.2006:
VIETNAM 2006: President's Remarks During Layover in Puny, Dirt-Poor Backwater That Allegedly Whooped America's Superpower Ass
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11.15.2006:
President's Statement Welcoming Back Senator Trent Lott as the True Face of the Republican Party
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11.12.2006:
Notice From Poppy Bush Unilaterally Amending President's Eight-Year Lease on the Levers of Global Hegemony
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11.11.2006:
President's Veterans Day Address to Retired Shrapnel Sponges Savoring Elimination of Sissy-Man Benefits
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11.08.2006:
ELECTION THUMPIN' 2006: President's Conciliatory Remarks Begging Terrorist-Fellating Liberals Not to Impeach His Ass
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11.08.2006:
Transcript of Donald Rumsfeld's Call Informing the President of His Desire To Spend More Time Bombing His Family
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11.07.2006:
VOTE PARTY-LINE REPUBLICAN: Or Hysterical Liberal Feminist Nancy Pelosi Will CASTRATE America!
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11.06.2006:
BEWARE THE BRAYING ASS: President Explains What Voters Can Expect From a Democratic Congress
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11.04.2006:
Mrs. Bush's Birthday: Read the President's Heartfelt Birthday Poem to America's Greatest-Ever First Lady
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11.03.2006:
Mrs. Betty Bowers, White House Spiritual Advisor, Offers Christian Concern to Pastor Ted Faggard
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11.02.2006:
PUSH POLLING IN ACTION: See Karl Rove's Informative Surveys for 2006 Senate Battleground Races
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11.01.2006:
VOTER ALERT: Does Virginia Democrat Jim Webb's Bizarre, Deviant Pornography Represent Your Values?
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11.01.2006:
HOCKING LUGIES IN SOLDIERS' FACES: Decoding John Kerry's America-Hating Liberal Doublespeak
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10.29.2006:
Transcript of the President's Poetic, Confidence-Inspiring Stump Speech on Behalf of Congressional Republicans
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10.27.2006:
Second Lady Lynne Cheney Vehemently Denies Repulsive Charges That She Writes Hot & Heavy Lesbo Smut
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10.27.2006:
VOTER ALERT: Learn the Dark, Sordid Truth About Tennessee Democrat Harold Ford Jr.
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10.26.2006:
President Warns Iraqazoids That There Are Limits to His Patience With Humiliating and Utterly Hopeless Failure
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10.25.2006:
MYTH vs. REALITY: Dispelling the Shameless Pre-Election Lies of the Defamatory Liberal Spin Machine
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10.25.2006:
Tony Snow Comments on Seditious Essay by Sniveling Crybaby Brother of FREEDOM Martyr Pat Tillman
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10.23.2006:
White House Statement on Alex P. Keaton's Flip-Flopping Endorsement of Womb Booger Holocaust
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10.20.2006:
President Bush Responds to His Sissy Father's Gloomy, Dementia-Ravaged Election Predictions
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10.20.2006:
Katherine Harris, Universally Beloved Congressperson, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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10.19.2006:
WALL STREET WINDFALL: President's Statement on the Record-Breaking Close of the Dow Jones Plutocracy Index
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10.19.2006:
FOR GOP EYES ONLY: Karl Rove's Official List of "October Surprises" For Impending Congressional Election
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10.17.2006:
President's Remarks Commemorating God's Successful Creation of the 300,000,000 Most Awesome People on Earth
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10.13.2006:
President's Statement Regarding Stunning Recent Accomplishments of the "No Child Left Unshot" Initiative
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10.10.2006:
President's Statement Regarding North Korea's Totally Non-Foreseeable, Non-Negotiable Development of Nukular Weapons
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10.08.2006:
USS George H. W. Bush Christening: President's Remarks Honoring the Launch of a Bush-Themed Vessel of Mass Destruction
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10.06.2006:
Transcript of President's Telephone Conversation With America's Ultra-Beloved, Super-Competent Secretary of Defense
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10.04.2006:
PATRIOTIC CAMPAIGN POSTERS: Show Your Unflappable Support for Morally Spotless Decency Czar Mark Foley
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10.04.2006:
Myth vs. Fact: Setting the Record Straight on the Libelous Falsehoods Riddling Bob Woodward's State of Denial
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10.01.2006:
Speaker Dennis Hastert Dispatches Emergency Memo to Clarify Confusing Congressional Terminology for House Pages
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09.29.2006:
Senator George Allen, Virginia's Pillar of Inclusiveness, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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09.27.2006:
President's Notes From Super-Productive Diplomatic Dinner With Arabiac Leaders Pervez Musharraf and Hamid Karzai
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09.26.2006:
President's Statement on Pentagon Decision to Extend Soldiers' Mandatory Vacations in Sunny, America-Friendly Vietraq
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09.24.2006:
PATRIOTIC READING: Exclusive Excerpt From Pakistarian General Pervez Musharraf's New Autobiography
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09.22.2006:
SECURITY ALERT: Help Protect America: Track Suspicious Persons From ANYWHERE Using the NSA Super Spy-O-Matic
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09.19.2006:
President's Call to Pope Benedict XVI Sharing Brilliant Insights on Placating Evil, Subhuman Muslamoid Trash
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09.17.2006:
President Bush Urges Voters to Declare Patriotic Surrender to the Great Spinach Mega-Panic of 2006
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09.15.2006:
President Bush Delivers Heartfelt Eulogy for Cheap, Brassy Family Nemesis Ann Richards
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09.13.2006:
RHODE ISLAND PRIMARY: Vice President Cheney Congratulates the Great Republican Senator Chafee's Annoying, Faggy Son
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09.11.2006:
PATRIOT DAY 2006: President Addresses Nation from Oval Office on Fifth Anniversary Of Fortuitous Political Windfall
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09.10.2006:
Script Excerpts of Deleted Scenes from ABC's Fair & Balanced Docu-Drama, The Path to 9/11TM
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09.06.2006:
Today's Patriotic Christian Kids Want to Know: Why Doesn't Our Loving Lord Jesus Just Zap All the Evildoers?
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09.02.2006:
Transcript of President's Phone Call Declining Debate Invitation From Iranistanian Madman Mammoo Allah-Lamma-Ding-Dong
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08.31.2006:
Second Lady Lynne Cheney's Remarks Welcoming Xena: Celestial Princess to America's Solar System
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08.29.2006:
President Trumpets Miraculous Transformation of Devastated Gulf Coast into Fabulous Real Estate Opportunities
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08.26.2006:
President's Remarks to Evangelical Pharmacists Association Lamenting FDA Approval of "Plan B" Slut Vitamins
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08.23.2006:
President Defends Senator George Allen From Vicious, Baseless Racism Charges by Stupid, Filthy Monkey People
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08.22.2006:
Postcards to Vice President Cheney From Poor, Demented Lunatic Impersonating the 100% DEAD Former CEO of Enron
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08.19.2006:
Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki Heaps Heartfelt Thanks Upon America and its Super-Competent Occupiers
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08.16.2006:
President Bush Thanks National Counterterrorism Center for Helping to Make America a Safer Police State
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08.15.2006:
VJ Day 2006: Celebrate America's Harmonious 150 Year Alliance With Japan by Downloading Handsome Diplomatic Posters!
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08.14.2006:
President Celebrates Government's Ultra-Constitutional Purchase of Gargantuan Monument to Christ's Murder by Jews
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08.11.2006:
President Laments Devastating Economic Repercussions of His Shortened Vacation on Photogenic Rednecks of Crawford, Texas
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08.08.2006:
President Offers Heartfelt Condolences to Joe Lieberman on His Vicious Political Lynching by Sissy-Assed Anti-Killing Yankees
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08.04.2006:
President's Formal Statement on the (Hopefully Fatal) Rectal Plague Afflicting Commie Hairball Fidel Castro
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08.02.2006:
ATTENTION KIDS OF ALL AGES: Check Out the Official Guide to Israeli-American Playground Dispute Resolution
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07.30.2006:
"In God We Trust" at 50: President's Remarks to Concerned Women for America Celebrating Golden Wedding Anniversary of Church & State
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07.27.2006:
BEAT THE HEAT: First Lady Laura Bush Shares Her Refreshing Tips for Enduring Oppressive Summer Temperatures
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07.25.2006:
A PLAN FOR THE MIDDLE EAST: President Bush Reveals Four Point Strategy to Fulfill Biblical Prophecy in the Holy Land
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07.21.2006:
Embracing the NAACP: President Bush Delivers Historic Address to Woo America's Richest & Most Powerful Coloreds
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07.19.2006:
In His First-Ever Veto, President Bush Bravely Protects America's Womb Boogers From Homicidal Parkinson's Nazis
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07.18.2006:
SCUFFLE IN THE MIDDLE EAST: President Assures Public That Unfolding Apocalypse in Jewtown & Allahstan is No Biggie
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07.17.2006:
2006 G-8 SUMMIT: President Bush Presents Brilliantly Insightful and Nuanced Ideas to Eliminate World's Thorniest Problems
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07.15.2006:
MEDIA ALERT: Press Secretary Tony Snow Releases Useful and Informative "Headline Helper" for the Week of July 9 - 15, 2006
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07.12.2006:
Secretary Chertoff Releases Updated List of American Treasures in SEVERE Danger of Attack by Bloodthirsty Hordes of Muslamiac Madmen
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07.11.2006:
PATRIOT ALERT: Demand That Liberal Journalists Cease Their Ignorant Criticisms of President Bush's 100% Perfect Immigration Policy
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07.09.2006:
Transcipt of President Bush's Remote Videoconference Eulogy for Enron CEO Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay
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07.06.2006:
PRESIDENT BUSH CELEBRATES 60th BIRTHDAY: All Neoconservative Über-Patriots are Invited to a Very Special Party
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07.05.2006:
NORTH KOREAN MISSILE CRISIS: Private Note From Loathsome Pygmy Evildoer Kim Jong Il to President Bush
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07.03.2006:
INDEPENDENCE DAY 2006: Celebrate the 230th Anniversary of America's Victory Over Sissy Limeys With Awesome Pro-USA Gear!
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06.30.2006:
Elvis Presley and the Presidency: A Look Back at Executive Branch Connections to the So-Called "King of Rock and Roll"
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06.29.2006:
President Bravely Reassures Hysterical Masses With Informed, Articulate Response to Supreme Court Ruling on Guantanamo Tribunals
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06.29.2006:
President Angrily Denounces Traitorous Pinko New York Times for "Revealing" His Public Promise to Implement Executive Order #13224
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06.27.2006:
Transcript of President's Chat With Double Amputee WMD Hunter During Totally Non-Grotesquely Exploitative South Lawn Photo Op
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06.24.2006:
Terror on the Run: Attny. Gen. Gonzales Announces Successful Miami Launch of "Operation Clueless Negro Thoughtcrime Entrapment"
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06.22.2006:
WORLD CUP 2006: President's Statement on America's Elimination from That Boring "Kickball for Eurofags" Thing
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06.20.2006:
Join Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for Invaluable Lessons on Formulating a Rational Foreign Policy Strategy
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06.16.2006:
MEDIA ALERT: Press Secretary Tony Snow Releases Useful and Informative "Headline Helper" for the Week of June 10 - 16, 2006
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06.13.2006:
President's Poll-Boosting Remarks to Majorly Pumped-Up Military Grunts During Suprise Visit to the Newly Super-Safe Vietraq
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06.10.2006:
Vice President Cheney Issues Diplomatic Response to Senator Arlen Specter's Shrill, Childish Letter Protesting Domestic Spying
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06.08.2006:
MISSION EVEN MORE ACCOMPLISHEDER! President's Solemn Remarks Celebrating the Slaughter of Osama al Zar Laden, Jr.
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06.05.2006:
President Reassures Fellow Loving Christians of His Commitment to Oppress America's Repulsive Dykes and Faggots
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06.03.2006:
CHRISTIAN PARENTING ALERT: Help Prevent the Devil's Resurrection – What To Do If Your Child is Born on 06-06-06
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05.31.2006:
President Bush's Private Congratulations Message to Newly Sworn-In CIA Director General Michael Hayden
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05.28.2006:
Transcript of Late-Night Phone Call Between President Bush and Cruelly Persecuted CEO Ethics Posterchild Kenneth Lay
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05.23.2006:
Miss Mary Cheney, Blissfully Well-Adjusted Second Daughter, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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05.19.2006:
THE DARFUR CRISIS: Download the Official Poster to Support President Bush's Ultra-Compassionate Genocide Policy!
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05.15.2006:
Transcript of President's Live Address to the Nation to Unveil Bold New Ideas on that Immigration Reform Stuff
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05.13.2006:
AMERICA'S CHRISTIAN KIDS ARE WONDERING: Does the Lord Jesus Christ Watch Me Pull Down My Pants and Go Poopy?
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05.09.2006:
President Bush Issues Calm, Diplomatic Response to Historic Letter from Iranistanian President Mammoo Amma-lamma-whatshisface
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05.04.2006:
President Responds to Bill Clinton's Communist Plot to Deny America's Youth the FREEDOM® to be Diabetes-Ravaged Lardasses
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05.01.2006:
President Demands That America's Slave Class Sing National Anthem in Jesus' Language Instead of Mumbo-Jumbo Mexicanese
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04.26.2006:
PATRIOT ACTION ALERT: Download the Official Poster to Show Your Support For President Bush's Inspired Energy Policy
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04.23.2006:
The Reverend Doctor Jerry Falwell, Executive Director of Global Policy, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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04.20.2006:
President Exchanges Toasts With Sneaky, Uncooperative Head of Communist Nation Which Owns America Lock, Stock, and Barrel
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04.18.2006:
PHOTO ESSAY: First Lady Laura Bush Shares Her Favorite Moments From the 2006 White House Easter Egg Roll
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04.17.2006:
Defending Sec. Rumsfeld: President Refutes Treasonous Criticism from Generals Who Are Just Too Wussy-Assed to Re-Up and Waste More Ragheads
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04.15.2006:
Commemorating the 1976th Anniversary of Jesus Christ's Magical Reanimation Into an Über-Righteous Zombie of Salvation
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04.11.2006:
Brian J. Doyle, Homeland Security Senior Official, Takes Your Questions in a Special "Ask the White House" Chat
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04.07.2006:
Press Briefing by Scott McClellan That is Actually a Wondrous Fantasmo-Magical Dream Induced by Eating Spicy Tacos
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04.04.2006:
Transcript of President Bush's Phone Call of Concerned Support to Mercilessly Tormented Congressnegro Cynthia McKinney
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04.03.2006:
TRUE PATRIOT ACTION ALERT: Help Lobby God on Behalf of Indicted Ethics Posterchild Tom DeLay by Reciting "The Hammer's Prayer"
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03.30.2006:
President Commemorates Silver Anniversary of Botched Reagan Shooting Which Nearly Begat a Gloriously Elongated Bush Reign
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03.28.2006:
President Bush Releases Inspired Staffing Plan to Infuse His Administration With "Fresh Thinking" and "New Blood"
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03.23.2006:
President Denounces Afghan Death Sentence for Smart Fella Who Converted to the One and Only True Version of God
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03.19.2006:
President's Ruminations on the Three Year Anniversary of America's Super-Successful Freedomizationizing of Vietraq
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03.15.2006:
President Sends Heartfelt Thank You Letter to First Nephew Pierce Bush for His Mature and Articulate Public Support
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03.11.2006:
President Expresses Shock and Dismay Over Senior Token Negro's Failure to Practice Bush Doctrine of Discreet Larceny
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03.05.2006:
Pakistan 2006: President's Statement Summarizing His Hugely Successful & Effective Visit With Trongs of Adoring Pakistazis
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03.03.2006:
President Bush Grants India Lucrative Contract for Outsourcing of America's Defecation on Nukular Nonproliferation Treaties
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03.01.2006:
President's Remarks During Top-Secret, Unannounced, 240 Minute Pit Stop in the Massively Stable Nation of Afghanistan
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02.27.2006:
ATTENTION PATRIOTIC KIDS: Learn Social Graces and Maturity by Reviewing President Bush's World-Famous Nickname List
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02.24.2006:
President's Remarks on Totally Safe Fire Sale of American Ports to Arab Nation We're Desperately Trying to Bribe Into Not Blowing Us Up
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02.14.2006:
Vice President Cheney Cordially Invites Like-Minded Hunting Safety Enthusiasts to Join "Deadeye Dick's Gun Club"
|
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02.10.2006:
Ann Coulter, Esteemed Public Reeducation Special Operative, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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02.05.2006:
Transcript of President's Powwow With So-Called Prophet Moohammed to Discuss Cartoon-Induced World War III
|
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02.01.2006:
President Bush's Private Congratulations Message to Newly Confirmed U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito
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01.31.2006:
The 2006 State of the Union Address: Complete Transcript of President Bush's Speech to Congress and the Nation
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01.26.2006:
ARAB DEMOCRACY ON THE MARCH: President Warns Palestiniac Allah Freaks to Play Nice With Israeloid Yahweh Freaks
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01.23.2006:
President's Remarks to the National Coal Miner Wives Association Announcing Compassionate New Survivor Benefits
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01.19.2006:
Official White House Response to Newly Released Audio Tape Statement and Truce Offer From Osama bin Hussein
|
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01.14.2006:
President Pledges To Personally Hunt Down Sniveling Bureaucrat Who Spilled the Beans About Totally Legal Spying on Citizens
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01.11.2006:
President Berates New York Times for Revealing the Super-Duper-Classified Military Secret That Our Troops in Iraq are Sitting Ducks
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White House Information:
