Thank you, thank you. It's so nice to be here at yet another in a seemingly endless series of made-for-TV events.
As you may have heard once or five thousand times before, I used to be a teacher. And a librarian.
That is why, having squeezed those two entire careers into a span of eighteen months over twenty years ago, I am
uniquely qualified to serve as America's super-insightful expert on all things school and book-related.
You know, teaching is such an important part of education. In fact, I have it on good authority that teaching is
one of the primary causes of folks learning stuff. And without learning, there could be no education. They're
like "oil and foreign policy" that way – you can't have one without the other!
Our children need education, which is why learning needs to happen. We can accomplish this with the help of
schools, where knowledge is taught with the help of people called teachers. I was one of them. Yes, a teacher
teaching people taught.
You see, I believe that teaching is the most important thing about teaching. And if there's one thing about teachers, it's that they teach. Boy howdy do they ever. Well, they also read,
which is another very important thing that is also related to teaching, education, and pretending I can't hear
my husband at the other end of the couch. In fact, reading and
teaching can even happen at the same time, which – and this is the really amazing part – can also
play a part in education!
(Thunderous Roar of Approval.)
Sadly, too often we forget that writing and books play a key role in reading. As a former librarian, I know
that books, and reading them, are a big part of teaching, which is the one other job that I had three decades
ago for a handful of months. Because when it comes to education, we should remember that learning stuff to stick
in your head comes first.
(30 Second Standing Ovation.)
In closing, let me just say that I was a teacher. I taught elementary school. I know how important teaching is.
I know how rewarding it is as well. I was also a librarian. I worked in a library. I know how books can be.
(5 Minute Standing Ovation + F-16 Squadron Flyover)