PRESIDENT BUSH'S STATEMENT ON THE WHOLLY VOLUNTARY RESIGNATION OF TREASURY SECRETARY PAUL O'NEILL
Statement by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Prior to my election, our nation saw eight years of unparalleled peace, growth and
prosperity. Yet, since taking office, I have noticed that economic indicators have steadily
declined. Economists working with me believe the signs may be pointing to a second Great Depression.
Attempts to revive the economy by lowering interest rates have largely failed, and
while I am confident this administration's tax cuts will enrich CEO's in the long term,
poor folks are cold and starving now, and so we must act quickly to create the illusion that we give a damn.
As all of you know, I have been devoting all of my time over the past year
to a national emergency: campaigning in all fifty states – even the ones that suck – to get
Republicans elected. So, naturally, I didn't have time to waste on
spreadsheets and all that other boring crap that always gets rolled out when
I make the mistake of bringing up the economy at cabinet meetings. But that
doesn't mean the state-of-the-dollars-stuff isn't important to this
administration. In fact, I just recently had my yearly meeting with my
Treasury Secretary. After he told me he was not the one I was supposed to
go to when I wanted petty cash for the snack machines in the basement,
I asked, "Paul, so how's the economy going, bud?" When he told me it stank
I got angrier than a bobcat asked to fetch and I fired him on the spot.
I'm here to tell you, it really steams me when folks don't do their jobs.
Laura thought I was just angry because this damned snow interfered with my
golf game this afternoon, but I think that was only 40% of why I fired the
bastard.
The man I will appoint as the new Secretary of the Treasury is a good man. I can vouch
for this man, as I've known him all my life. This is a man who has shown the highest level of
fiscal responsibility, even at personal sacrifice. This is a man who will do what is right
for the nation, shepherding our economy back to a state of health. And above all, this is a
man American taxpayers can trust with their economic future.
Please join me in welcoming our new Secretary of the Treasury, my brother, Neil Bush.
(Applause.)
END
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White House Information:
