REMARKS BY PRESIDENT BUSH TO ATTENDEES OF RETIRING SENATOR STROM THURMOND'S 100TH BIRTHDAY PARTY
Statement by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. What a pleasure and an honor it is to be here with all of you to celebrate the
100th birthday of a living legend - Senator Strom Thurmond.
(Applause.)
They say there's a lot of history in 100 years, and in Senator Thurmond's case, how true that also is. As such,
I thought I would take a few minutes to share just a handful of the amazing facts that fill Senator Thurmond's
very thick and impressive biography. Is that OK with you, Strom?
SENATOR THURMOND: [Unintelligible] because I like sticking it in the nekkid girlies! You don't [unintelligible] coming up here
[unintelligible] someone tell that nigra to get off my lawn!
(Applause.)
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you, Senator. Wise words from a wise man. Now without further ahh-choo, let's review some of
Strom's accomplishments together:
- Senator Thurmond is both the longest-serving and oldest United States Senator ever.
- Senator Thurmond, at the age of 41, hang-glided into Normandy on D-Day!
- Senator Thurmond also served as Governor of North Carolina from 1947 to 1951.
- Senator Thurmond holds the record for the longest filibuster in Senate history; he spoke against the 1957 civil rights bill for twenty-four hours, eighteen minutes.
- Senator Thurmond switched from the Democratic to the Republican Party in 1964.
- Senator Thurmond officially endorsed using nuclear arms on North Vietnam in February, 1966.
- Senator Thurmond conceived his last child at the ripe old age of 76!
- Senator Thurmond's office is the last one on Capitol Hill still equipped with a working slave cage.
- Senator Thurmond, ever budget-conscious, colors his hair with Tang® breakfast drink mix.
- Senator Thurmond once mooned Dr. Martin Luther King from the opposite end of the Washington Mall.
- Senator Thurmond tattoos his house boys with the Confederate flag, so as in the event they get rustled up, Strom can tell his boys apart from Senator Helms'.
- Senator Thurmond was instrumental in the drafting of Federal guidelines for the correct execution of fag-bashing.
- Senator Thurmond, to this very day, still hand-presses his white sheets.
Truly incredible feats, by a truly incredible man. Please join me now in extending very warm birthday wishes
to Senator Strom Thurmond - America's Pillar of Inclusiveness.
(Applause.)
OK, somebody tell titty girl that it's time to jump out of Strom's cake.
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