TEXT OF THE PRESIDENT'S THANKSGIVING PROCLAMATION ON THE INHERENT ANTI-AMERICANISM OF VEGETARIANS
A Proclamation by the President
Tomorrow, we celebrate Thanksgiving, a day when all white Americans look back in honor and wonder at the wisdom
of our Pilgrim forefathers, who took the time to learn from the godless Indian (feather, not dot) hordes before committing genocide
upon their race, turning the survivors into malt liquor-swilling drunks, then imprisoning their slow-talking, whiny offspring
on barren, windswept reservations. Truly, it is a day ripe with meaning and symbolism.
Today, as we give thanks for our Christian nation's supremacy, we also recognize carnivorism as an essential element in our national character,
and we commend the good folks at Tyson and Butterball and KFC for their dedicated efforts to keep
adults and children alike stripping the stringy, tasteless flesh from the carcasses of untold
hormone-enhanced, genetically freakish pig-birds. For as you know, research has repeatedely shown
that meat consumption at home and at school play a critical role in decreasing the likelihood
of leftism in our nation's youth.
At the same time, let it be known that there is an enemy lurking within America's borders - one which preys upon
our youth and attempts to instill its sickening agenda in our Godly children and young people.
This enemy is none other than the hateful, anti-American legions of tofurkey-munching vegetarianists
and veganoids. And today, I am taking action.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested
in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim all vegetarianos and veganarists to
be traitors to the American Way. I call upon our youth, parents, educators, and all people of the United States
to confront and denounce these persons with verbal and physical attacks most grievous.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-seventh day of November, in the year of our Lord Jesus
Christ two thousand two, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and twenty-sixth.
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