Tuesday night's exclusive Election 2002 fund-raising party was truly an affair to remember, as a phalanx of Washington's Republican power brokers arrived to shake mad G.O.P. booty at the White House's all-night Halloween Drag Ball! In the process, a modest $13 million was raised (along with a hemline or two!), and a bevy of America's favorite conservatives proved once again that fashion and fascism make for delicious bedfellows!

Jammin' John Ashcroft, hell-bent on serenading the Christly crowd in style, let it all hang out – going seductively low-glam in a sleeveless halter-style platinum lamé gown. Rounding out the ensemble with sheer tulle ankle pom-poms and Cole Haan stiletto jack boots, Judicious Johnny macarena'ed the night away with GOP luminaries (and ardent admirers!) Dr. Laura Schlessinger and G. Gordon Liddy!	Dazzling Dick Cheney & Jazzy Georgie Bush descended the grand staircase to a reverent chorus of ooohs and ahhhs. Both sported luxurious chinchilla-collared sugar glider trenchcoats, but while Dick chose a classically cleavage-enhancing ivory cashmere v-neck and Marc Jacobs arctic seal pillbox, Dubyette cast his ballot for the waif look, complete with weathered tie-front peasant's frock and hand-spun hemp jog bra.
Amazing Ari Fleischer, seemingly impervious to a bone-chilling autumn gale, dared to bare a freshly waxed bosom betwixt supple lapels of a singed cranberry Tom Ford velvet smoking jacket – replete with matching cuffs for a stunning chartreuse Kevlar sarong. Opting for natural-looking makeup and tousled hair, Secretary Spin completed the effect with a fabu pair of Jimmy Choo platform mules.	Katty Karl Rove, relishing the opportunity to leave his signature Brooks Brothers three-piece in a damp, crumpled ball at the foot of the fabled Rove queen-sized Craftmatic Adjustable Love Gymnasium, played up the occasion in a crimson Oscar de la Renta jumpsuit, replete with succubus-inspired elastic skull stocking, side-zippered patio furniture jacket, and Versace fanny pack.
Delectable Donny Rumsfeld, never one to hold back on the fashion heavy artillery, held true to form – arriving in a jackolantern-festooned M1-A1 Battle Tank and emerging the clear winner of the straw poll for "sexiest septuagenarian." Eschewing last year's ball gown look for a sleek stretch-chiffon dance jupe in a distressed cheetah print, Rummy iced his glamour cake in a smart albino desert fox jacket – dusted with 24-karat gold!	Sultry Strom Thurmond, in his final pre-retirement outing, drove the crowd wild with a very personal interpretation of a South Carolina Chiquita, replete with risqué nod to the ruffles of Queen Victoria. Sable-trimmed pedal pushers had this spunky centenarian dancing none-too-conservative circles around former Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed, who seemed much more interested in Kentucky bourbon than Paris chic.
Bewitching Beautiful Jesse Helms sashayed into the ball sporting a crisp day-suit of brocade and tweed, complemented by matching sun bonnet and Cairn Terrier bitch (kept delightfully quiet with a black silk Hermes scarf soaked in lilac water and chloroform). Late night saw the staid ensemble give way to an underlying fuchsia chiffon jumper. Thigh-high boots and a dramatic g-string corset completed the effect.	Perky Pat Robertson, in the most powerful color splash of the evening, went all-out Cleopatra 2002 in acres of space-age velvet - spun into supple, multi-layered autumn ponchos. Beneath the hood, a lambskin bustier and interlocking network of plasticized stretch garters showed real imagination, earning the 700 Club host the revered title of "Feature Preacher."
Naughty Newtie Gingrich, Georgia's sweetest peach, went Gotham Gothic in a stunning deluge of black from Christian Lacroix's exciting new fall collection. Shrink-wrapped in a velvet sheath dress with pearl embroidered waist band, Newt eschewed his regular penchants for lacquered chiffon and crystal-embroidered mohair, declaring "I just wanted to shimmer. Glittering is so Clintonian!"	Living Doll Ollie North positively glided on the ballroom floor, swathed in delicate embroideries accented with supple satin and lace. Below the waist, sequined stockings, ostrich plume moccasins, and an alligator grenade harness drove the crowd to collective climax, showering the catty colonel with red carnations, white roses, and assorted succulent cacti.

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