PRESIDENT ANNOUNCES INNOVATIVE PROGRAM TO FEED AMERICA'S NEEDY
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon. Thank you for coming. Late last week, Americans everywhere stood proud and tall upon
hearing news of the resounding success of my administration's pilot program
to feed the needy with fresh meat harvested from Alaska's highways.
Today, I am pleased to announce that I have allocated upwards of $13,000 of Federal relief funds to ensure that
this wildly innovative program will be expanded throughout our glorious nation. Yes - from Portland, Maine to Portland, Oregon, thousands will benefit from the adoption
of this inspired and seemingly humane approach to keeping our interstate system clean. And so, going forward, the succulent
goodness of skunks, squirrels and possums will no longer be reserved for the gilded dim sum brunch trays of the liberal elite
Food-TV crowd. They will be accessible to all. Indeed - with this program, Americans both rich and poor will find themselves
duly empowered to partake of God's wondrous bounty. Praise!
Both Mrs. George W. Bush ("Laura") and I have every confidence that this program will be a most glorious
success, and will forever eradicate the pangs of hunger from the bellies of our nation's lazy, unemployed and
otherwise "needy" citizens.
Thank you. And God bless.
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