PRESS SECRETARY SCOTT McCLELLAN UNVEILS STRICT NEW CREDENTIALING APPLICATION TO ENSURE ROCK-SOLID INTEGRITY OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS POOL
Statement by the Press Secretary
MR. McCLELLAN: Good morning, distinguished and virile gentlemen of the news media. Please be seated.
Well, except for the new correspondent from PowerBottoms.Com – because you are looking just fine
right where you are, Kyle. Today, in the wake of a certain uneventful, non-scandalous
President Bush has directed me to promptly fill all vacancies here in His beloved Press Pool – in a manner befitting
the tight, beefed-up security desired by a nation entrenched in the communal showers of war.
All top-notch fellas are strongly encouraged to apply using the all-new quick and
easy form. We're looking for a few high-caliber men – rough and ready media pros with an insatiable hunger for exposing facts, who'll
probe deep for the truth, willing to stay on top to get to the bottom of things, but showing the necessary versatility to
bring a whole new meaning to the term "rock-hard news." I eagerly await your applications.