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09.14.2007:
President Addresses Nation on the Way Forward to Surging Back Towards Desperately Spinning the Clusterfuck That is Vietraq
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09.03.2007:
President's Remarks to Super-Stoked Troops During Mega-Secret Photo Op in Increasingly Ultra-Safe Iraq
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07.04.2007:
Independence Day 2007: President Psyches Up Iraq-Bound Troops with Pep Talk About Olden Days War We Actually Won
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05.28.2007:
Iraq Funding Approved: President Lauds Democrats' Courage to Stay True to Their Spineless Jellyfish Convictions
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04.15.2007:
NOW HIRING: UNITED STATES WAR CZAR
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03.29.2007:
Iraq Budget Supplemental: President Explains Why He Will Veto Democratic Meddling in His Brilliantly Executed Bloodbath
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02.27.2007:
Vice President Cheney Delivers Morale-Boosting Remarks to U.S. Soldiers in Super-Safe and Totally Stable Afghanistan
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02.23.2007:
President Offers Helpful Advice to Britain's Prince Harry on His Upcoming Deployment to Combat Duty in Iraq
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01.17.2007:
President Congratulates Brave Iraqazoids on Proud Achievement of Minting 34,000 FREEDOM® HeroesTM in 2006
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01.10.2007:
President's Address to Convince Flip-Flopping Nation of Urgent Need to Escalate "Operation Baghdad 911"
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12.30.2006:
SADDAM HUSSEIN EXECUTED: President's Statement Celebrating the Awesome Snuffing Out of America's Most Hated Sand Coon
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12.07.2006:
President's Statement on Bitchy Report From Crusty Old Geezers Intent on Losing the Awesomely Prosecuted War on Evil
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12.01.2006:
President Makes Triumphant Return From Mega-Successful Summit With Annoyingly Willful Puppet Who Blew Him Off
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10.26.2006:
President Warns Iraqazoids That There Are Limits to His Patience With Humiliating and Utterly Hopeless Failure
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09.26.2006:
President's Statement on Pentagon Decision to Extend Soldiers' Mandatory Vacations in Sunny, America-Friendly Vietraq
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08.19.2006:
Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki Heaps Heartfelt Thanks Upon America and its Super-Competent Occupiers
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07.18.2006:
SCUFFLE IN THE MIDDLE EAST: President Assures Public That Unfolding Apocalypse in Jewtown & Allahstan is No Biggie
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06.13.2006:
President's Poll-Boosting Remarks to Majorly Pumped-Up Military Grunts During Suprise Visit to the Newly Super-Safe Vietraq
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06.08.2006:
MISSION EVEN MORE ACCOMPLISHEDER! President's Solemn Remarks Celebrating the Slaughter of Osama al Zar Laden, Jr.
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03.19.2006:
President's Ruminations on the Three Year Anniversary of America's Super-Successful Freedomizationizing of Vietraq
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01.11.2006:
President Berates New York Times for Revealing the Super-Duper-Classified Secret that Our Troops in Iraq are Sitting Ducks
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11.30.2005:
President Bush Releases Easy-to-Understand Diagram Summarizing His Inspired Long-Term Strategy for Victory in Vietraq
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11.10.2005:
Transcript of President's Private Meeting With Briefly Estranged Pathological Liar Chickenhawk Soulmate Ahmad Chalabi
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10.26.2005:
Honoring America's 2000 Dead in Iraq: President's Remarks at Groundbreaking Ceremony for Arlington National Cemetery High Capacity Mega-Crypt
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08.12.2005:
President's Note to Cindy Sheehan, Grieving Mother of Heroic FREEDOM® Crusader Killed in Utterly Necessary War In Vietraq
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07.15.2005:
The Average Iraqi: Ectastic Beneficiary of American Compassion, Takes Your Questions on "Ask the White House"
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06.28.2005:
In Stirring Address to Nation, President Rekindles America's Love Affair With Getting Its Superpower Ass Kicked in Vietraq
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01.28.2005:
President Bush Proudly Invites Eligible Arabiacs to Download and Complete the Official Ballot for Iraq's Explosively Joyous Foray Into Gunpoint Democracy
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01.15.2005:
Full Text of President Bush's After-Hours Statement Proudly Leaking America's Successful Termination of the Hunt for Iraqazoid Weapons of Mass Destruction
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12.10.2004:
MEDIA ALERT: Corrected Transcript Of Secretary Rumsfeld's Friendly, Non-Contentious Bull Session With Joyous, 100% Gung-Ho National Guardsmen In Kuwait
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09.24.2004:
LETTERS FROM THE FRONT LINES OF IRAQ: Active Duty Soldiers Respond to John Kerry's Shameless Attempts to Undermine Morale Through the Traitorous Articulation of Reality
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06.29.2004:
The Iraq Sovereignty Handover: President's Statement Congratulating Ambassador Paul Bremer on His Brave, Unannounced Skedaddle Outta Dodge
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05.25.2004:
President's Army War College Speech Explaining Plan to Grant Iraq the FREEDOMŪ to Enjoy Puppet Government and Decades-Long Foreign Military Presence
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05.02.2004:
Letter to President Bush From Brave Armed Forces FREEDOM®-Defender Celebrating the One-Year Anniversary of the Shuttering of Iraq's "Rape Rooms"
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03.31.2004:
Remarks by Former President George H.W. Bush Denouncing So-Called Intellectuals Too Dense to Notice America's Wondrous Progress in Iraq
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12.14.2003: MISSION ACCOMPLISHEDER! The World Sleeps Safely Tonight Knowing a Delirious, Nappy Hairball Living in a Hole is Finally in Republican Custody
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11.27.2003: President's Surprise Thanksgiving Remarks to Troops During His Brave, 150-Minute, After-Dark Jaunt to the Maximum-Security Heart of the "Mission Accomplished" Zone
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10.24.2003: New Funeral Protocols for Protecting Iraq Combat Fatalities From Photographers, Tacky Military Ceremonies, and Canned Presidential Eulogies
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09.24.2003: Not Begging For Help in the Non-Quagmire of Iraq: Text of President's Steamy Hot Sex Slave Speech to United Nations General Assembly
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09.02.2003: Summer Concluded, President Bush Revels in America's Unequivocal Victory Over Tyranny and Pandemonium in the New & Improved Iraq
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06.13.2003: President Releases Newly Recovered Warzone Documents Offering Incontrovertible Proof of Iraqi Acquisition of Weapons of Mass Destruction
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05.22.2003: Presenting the Occupied Iraq Bill of Rights: President Bush Ushers in Blissful Era of Submissive Arabiac Democracy and Eternal Martial Law
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05.14.2003: Ruling the New Iraq: America's Long-Term Commitment to Ensuring the Triumph of Compassionate Imperialism Over the Perverted Cult of Muslamiac Self-Determination
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05.01.2003: The USS Abraham Lincoln Speech: President's Remarks Celebrating the Convergence of Loyalty Day, Prayer Day, Law Day, and Whoopin' Allah's Sorry Ass Day
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04.25.2003: The War in Iraq Concluded, President Bush Proudly Honors the First-Ever Recipients of the "Civilian Warmonger Medal of Armchair Valor"
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04.10.2003: Baghdad Falls: President Bush Extends a Heartfelt Radio Olive Branch to Iraq's Proud Population of Newly-Liberated, Soon-to-be-Christian, Petroleum-Pumpin' Eunuchs
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03.29.2003: "THE FACES OF FREEDOM!" - A Fair & Balanced Photo Refutation
of Preposterous Liberal Media Reports of Iraqi Anti-Americanism
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03.26.2003: President's Statement Reminding Uppity Iraqasaurs to Lose the Inferior Arabiac Pride, Smile Pretty for the Cameras, and Open Wide the Doors to Christian JDAMs of Freedom
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03.24.2003: President Bush Reassures Jittery Nation: "The War Show Will Go On. So Nuke Up Some Cheez Whiz, Kick Back & Enjoy the Bloodletting!"
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03.23.2003: Transcript of the Presidential Prayer Team's Camp David Appeal to Jesus Requesting Swift & Effortless Annihilation of the Muslamian Hordes
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03.19.2003: Complete Text of President Bush's Orgasmic Rebel Yell Heralding the Launch of Operation Godless Iraqazoid Smackdown
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03.17.2003: President's Televised Address Granting Saddam Hussein 48 Hours to Stop Mistaking This George Bush For That Other Sissypants Chicken Quitter
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IRAQ AT A GLANCE: Essential, Fair and Balanced Facts About America's Most Dangerous Godless Arabiac Terrorist Enemy
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03.13.2003: Vice President Cheney Unveils Noble, Honorable and Completely Non-Greed-Inspired Twelve-Step Recovery Plan for the Future Former Nation of Iraqaeda
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03.06.2003: Transcript of President Bush's Anti-Terror Press Conference Detailing Terror-Preventing War Against Terrifying Terrorists of Terror
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03.03.2003: Secretary Fleischer Delivers Forceful Rebuttal to Charges of Senselessly Dooming Innocent American GI's Purely for Craven Political Gain
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03.01.2003: Secretaries Rumsfeld & Wolfowitz Explain Moral Necessity of Nation Bombing Building to Assembled Limp-Wristed Press Nancys
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02.06.2003: Secretary Rumsfeld Releases Final, Ironclad Proof of Iraq's Obstinate Yearning for Napalm Colonics of Freedom
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01.21.2003: President Reassures U.S.: "Our Righteous Slaughter of Iraqi Babies Shall Not be Thwarted by Fraidy Cat Euro-Faggots!"
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09.18.2002: President Releases Top-Secret Iraqi Documents Justifying the Immediate Toppling of Saddam Hussein
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09.14.2002: The President's Iraq Ultimatum, As Delivered to the United Nations General Assembly
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08.28.2002: Vice President Cheney Details Diabolical Iraqi Schemes Necessitating the Wholesale Invasion of the Arabiac World
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White House Information:
