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THE WHITE HOUSE
JUDICIAL NOMINEE EXPRESS CONFIRMATION
STRENGTHENING SOCIAL SECURITY
No matter what lies those soldier-hating, homo-worshipping wrinkle-Nazis at the AARP may spout, Social Security is in trouble – careening wildly down an ice-slicked toboggan chute towards certain violent annihilation against a jagged concrete wall of convincingly simulated reality. Fortunately, decades of study by Americas's most brilliant conservative economists/banking executives have devised four ultra-viable CURES to the impending retirement apocalypse. Please review these options below, and VOTE FOR YOUR PREFERENCE!
 
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 CHOOSE NOW!    THESE ARE AMERICA'S ONLY OPTIONS!
OPTION A: "WALL STREET WAGER"
OPTION B: "RETIREMENT ROULETTE"
OPTION C: "A WHOLE SLOTTA SECURITY"
OPTION D: "SCRAPS FROM CRAPS"
 
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