Strengthening Social Security

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STRENGTHENING SOCIAL SECURITY
No matter what lies those soldier-hating, homo-worshipping wrinkle-Nazis at the AARP may spout, Social Security is in trouble – careening wildly down an ice-slicked toboggan chute towards certain violent annihilation against a jagged concrete wall of convincingly simulated reality. Fortunately, decades of study by Americas's most brilliant conservative economists/banking executives have devised four ultra-viable CURES to the impending retirement apocalypse. Please review these options below, and VOTE FOR YOUR PREFERENCE!

FLATTER JESUS, Or He'll Torture You in Hell!

Get the GODLY New Book!

CHOOSE NOW! THESE ARE AMERICA'S ONLY OPTIONS!

OPTION A: "WALL STREET WAGER"

OPTION B: "RETIREMENT ROULETTE"

OPTION C: "A WHOLE SLOTTA SECURITY"

OPTION D: "SCRAPS FROM CRAPS"

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