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THE WHITE HOUSE
JUDICIAL NOMINEE EXPRESS CONFIRMATION

ATTENTION FEDERAL JUDICIARY CANDIDATE:
As a George W. Bush nominee, your confirmation by the newly GOP-controlled Senate is a foregone conclusion. Therefore, in the interest of thwarting the nuisance of egregious Democratic filibustering, the White House and Congressional Judiciary Committees have cooperated in the development of this online application system - which effectively dispenses with the farce of confirmation hearings altogether.

Please fill out the form below in its entirety. Once completed, you will be issued a temporary Federal Judgeship permit authorizing you to proceed immediately to the nearest U.S. Circuit Court and begin dismantling the separation of church and state.

FEDERAL JUDICIARY EXPRESS CONFIRMATION:
Name:
E-mail:
Patriot ID#:
Home State:
University:
Brotherhood:
Presidential Affiliation:
Presidential Nickname:
Favorite Movie:
The Constitution:
The Bill of Rights:
If Strom Thurmond had been elected President, we wouldn't have had all these problems.
By "problems," I mean:
Universities should admit students based on:
Select the actual Martin Luther King Jr. quote:
Homosexual marriage is:
States may outlaw sex acts such as:
I am "Pro-Life:"
People get too many choices these days:
Women need to saved from themselves:
Affirmative Action: Social Responsibility
The Death Penalty: Justice
The Three U.S. Government Branches:
Under my robes, I wear:
I swear to uphold:
I accept Jesus as my Lord, Savior, and Justifier of Selfish Rationalizations I Made Up But Attribute to Him:


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