STRENGTHENING SOCIAL SECURITY: No matter what lies those wrinkle-Nazis at the AARP may claim, Social Security is in trouble – careening wildly down an ice-slicked toboggan chute towards certain violent annihilation against a jagged concrete wall. Fortunately, President Bush has a plan. Learn More! >>
	UNDERSTANDING COWBOY DIPLOMACY: Are you a clear-thinking, sensible citizen with a good command of history and world events? Do you get along with people, have good leadership skills, and acknowledge that up is up and left is, in fact, left? If so, today's U.S diplomatic corps may NOT be for you. Learn More! >>
	FUNDAMENTALS OF BUSHONOMICS: President Bush has devised an inspired growth and jobs plan ("Bushonomics") to strengthen the financial foundations of consequential Americans. He calls upon all GOP Congressmen to justly reward themselves through its continued application passage into law. Learn More! >>
	WINNING THE WAR ON MASTURBATION: President Bush is proud to introduce an ambitious new phase in the fight to preserve all that is decent in America. Conceived and championed by the revered Republican think tank Americans for Purity, "Operation Infinite Purity" is dedicated to the COMPLETE ERADICATION OF MASTURBATION from American soil by the year 2009. Learn More! >>
	FEDERAL JUDICIARY EXPRESS CONFIRMATION: In the interest of thwarting the nuisance of egregious Democratic filibustering, the White House and Congressional Judiciary Committees have cooperated in the development of this online application system - which effectively dispenses with the farce of confirmation hearings altogether. Learn More! >>
	AMERICAN PATRIOT REGISTRATION: As part of ongoing efforts to prevent terrorism in the United States, the Department of Justice has commenced registration* of each and every American Patriot. By registering all non-terrorists within our borders, it becomes possible to to identify all evildoers via the process of elimination. Learn More! >>
	WARTIME MORALE POSTERS: Not to be confused with "propaganda," these inspired and heart-warming wartime morale posters are provided by the Bush Administration at minimal cost to all patriotic Americans. Citizens are advised to print out hundreds of copies, and aggressively canvas their communities! Learn More! >>
	HONORING OUR JAPANESE ALLIES: In honor of America's great and enduring 150+ year alliance with Japan, the White House is proud to present a sampling of 1940's posters, commissioned by the U.S. government to help reinforce public support for this serene and fruitful friendship. Learn More! >>
	MARS 2050: FREEDOM® FOR THE COSMOS: Learn about President Bush's wistfully feel-good NASA boondoggle – proof that America can accomplish anything – especially when we stop lavishing our tax dollars on irresponsible luxuries like antibiotics for grandpa, veterans' benefits, and school lunch for ghetto trash. Learn More! >>
	OFFICE OF GLOBAL COMMUNICATIONS: The Bush Administration understands the importance of responding to the global explosion in anti-Americanism. Left unchecked, these irrational sentiments, harbored by billions of mentally inferior foreigners the world over, could contribute to an international consumer climate in which American corporations and products stand at a competitive disadvantage. Learn More! >>
	USA VICTORY TROPHIES: Celebrate America's Triumph Over EVIL Sand People in Operation Infinite Justice With Your Very Own Victory Trophy! Produced in cooperation with the Battlefield Abattoire division of Franklin Mint, each Victory Trophy is made from 100% authentic evildoer, recently harvested from the rubble of Godless Arabia! Learn More! >>