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A Very Special Christmas Greeting From the First Lady

My Fellow Americans,

This Christmas, the President and I will spend our Holy Days in the White House behind bolted doors, comfy-cozy in the knowledge that the Secret Service will pick off any nosy member of the public who tries to get within 50 feet of our lovely taxpayers' tree. For the past several years, we have kicked off the Baby Jesus' birthday by sipping an oversize mug of my fabulous cocoa (recipe at right) while we honor our Yuletide tradition of leaving messages on our daughters' voice-mails telling them at which adult beverage stores Santa gave them a store credit. I'm told that every Christmas Jenna and Barbara enjoy their traditional spirited competition of downing alternating red and green shot glasses filled with things that, as a concerned mother, I stopped asking about a long time ago.

Every American family celebrates Christmas in its own special way. That is what makes our country so wonderful: Its commitment to celebrate and honor diversity. What is important is that no matter how we celebrate Christmas, we are all honoring the birth of our Lord and Savior, the only path that leads away from the smoldering brimstone furnaces of an everlasting Hell.

During the eight years that we will be in office, the President and I want to make it a Holy Days tradition to spotlight a unique approach an American family has to celebrating Christmas. This year, I would like to share with you the truly unusual way my dear friend and Sister-in-Christ Patsy Ramsey has celebrated Christmas. Join me, won't you?

-- Mrs. George W. Bush (Laura)

Mrs. Bush's Traditional Hot Chocolate Recipe

- 1 C Nestles Quick chocolate syrup
- 4 T Sweet n Low artificial sweetener
- 5 C Amaretto Carnation Coffee-Mate nondairy creamer
- 3 C Everclear grain alcohol
- A pinch of salt
- A pinch of cinnamon
- 1/2 t Sam's Club imitation vanilla flavoring
Mix, heat, then top with Cool Whip (or Miracle Whip if you don't have a sweet tooth) and marshmallows.

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