Whitehouse.org is the officious web site for the White House and President George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States.

  Search WHITEHOUSE.ORG   

THE WHITE HOUSE
President Bush's Faith-Based and Community Initiatives program is a wonderfully inventive approach to fulfilling the government's mission to provide special tax-free funding for all businesses (even secular ones) that invoke the name Jesus as their Lord and Savior. If you are interested in receiving millions in taxpayer funding for YOUR Christian conglomerate, simply fill out the form below to apply for whatever vast sum you may require in order to bring the gospel message of Jesus Christ to the hell-bound, unsaved Atheistic trash tearing apart the fabric of this Godly nation. President Bush appreciates your selfless commitment to restoring America to the Lord's "most honored nation" status.

1000's of Stickers & T-Shirts:
Guantanamo Vacation Gear
USA: Jesus Likes Us Best

WHITEHOUSE.ORG BUMPER STICKERS I Support Quasi-Fascist Automotive Fads
Jesus Votes Republican
Enron/Halliburton
Patriotastic Bumper Stickers

America Doesn't Torture: Freedom Tickles Get the Job Done
Amazing Patriotic Posters

Name:
Bible-Believing Church Name:
City:   State:
Church Religious Affiliation:
Funding Package(s) Desired:
Start-Up: Church Painting/Pew Shellacking [$189.00]
Tin: New Bibles, Hymnals & Choir Robes [$1,800.00]
Bronze: Church Security System/Floor Waxing/Neon Cross [$6,000.00]
Silver: Tract Printing/New Missionary Bus/Megaphones [$44,000.00]
Gold: Church Extensions: Pastor's Study, Nursery School, and Deacon's Lounge [$200,000.00]
Platinum: New Homosexual Outreach Ministry Center (Exodus International) Incl. Makeup and Costumes [$425,000.00]
Light Up the Sky: 1 year of 1 hr Sunday Morning Network Television Broadcasting Time (TBN or FOX Only) [$4.8 Million]
Age of Church:
Size of Church:
Reach of Ministry:
Female Preachers Permitted:
Location of Church:
Average Parishoner Income:
Church Demographics:
Church Party Affiliation:
Method of Baptism:
Method of Evangelism:
Does your Pastor have a personal relationship with the President?
  No
Yes
Our Pastor golfs with the President's poppy
Does your church allow parishioners to worship in informal attire?
  Yes, we don't mind offending the Lord
No, we don't allow ladies to cross-dress by wearing slacks
Is your church's youth group interested in a free trip to the Holy Land once it is under American control?
  Yes
No
Is your church interested in purchasing a bronze bust of Ronald Reagan to display in its lobby?
  Yes
Yes, but no Nancy
How do you wish your taxpayer funds to be delivered?
  Small bills with nonsequential numbers
Cashiers Check
Gift Certificate
Wired directly to pastor's account
Please explain your church's worthiness in 50 words or less:
 

###

<< back


BEHOLD! Quality Books From the Writers of WHITEHOUSE.ORG, Landover Baptist & Betty Bowers: