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THE WHITE HOUSE
SKULL & BONES - White House Office of Fraternal Affairs
WELCOME, BROTHER! PLEASE NOTE: ACCESS TO THIS PRIVATE AREA OF THE WHITE HOUSE WEBSITE IS RESTRICTED SOLELY TO MEMBERS OF THE ABOVE-MENTIONED ORGANIZATION WHICH DOES NOT EXIST.


OPERATION LEFT-WING MEDIA KIBOSH: Log in to check for updates on the campaign to wipe the public record clean of any and all information relating to the brotherhood's members, financial dealings, and satanically mangina-centric initiation rituals. Current Priority-One Gagging Target: NY Observer's Jewish Bigmouth Ron Rosenbaum
IRAQI TERRITORY RE-NAMING AND DRILLING RIGHTS AUCTION! President Bush and Vice President Cheney will soon commence carving up whatever's left of that bombed-out, formerly sovereign armpit of a heathen nation and handing out the pieces to the highest bidders. Sign up now to get your rightful piece of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
THE 2007 CLUB CARS HAVE ARRIVED: Thanks to General Motors CEO G. Richard Wagoner, Jr. (S&B '77) for this year's allotment of complimentary vehicles. Each brother is asked to please indicate his color preference(s) at least 48 hours prior to taking delivery of any 2007 Hummer H2 from his nearest authorized dealer.
LAST CALL FOR GIFT BASKETS: Any brother who has not yet done so is asked to pick up his Election 2004 Gift Basket from the West Wing coat check. Includes: Corporate Malfeasance Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card, 5,000 Tax-Free Acres of the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge, and a Special Commemorative Victory Beef Log
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UPCOMING SEMINARS:
» MONDAY: "Money Can't Buy You Love, But It Can Buy Democracy"
» THURSDAY: "We Were Here First, So We Deserve More Than The Majority" - A Subtextual Reading of The Constitution

TREASURER'S NOTICE: All Brothers - Please be advised that annual membership dues must be received via electronic transfer to the primary Cayman Islands account absolutely no later than April 14th. Thank you.


BEHOLD! Quality Books From the Writers of WHITEHOUSE.ORG, Landover Baptist & Betty Bowers: