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THE WHITE HOUSE
DICK CHENEY


























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Born on January 30, 1941, in Lincoln, Nebraska, Richard Bruce Cheney was raised in Casper, Wyoming by his parents Richard H. and Marjorie Cheney. A robustly handsome and popular boy whose future was apparent, young Dick was voted "Most Likely to Become CEO of a Multinational Conglomerate Whose Business He Knows Nothing About" by his classmates at Robert E. Lee Senior High School.

Later, Cheney would win a scholarship to prestigious Yale University, but upon finding the academic culture there to be cliquish and self-congratulatory (in that especially unbearable New England way), Cheney would boycott his classes. In time, Yale officials would come to believe that Cheney's academic performance was too poor to justify his continued enrollment, and would ask him to leave. Little did they know that the joke was on them – that Cheney's apparent "failure" was in fact a brilliant protest against the inherently diseased nature of Ivy League intelligentsia. Cheney returned to Wyoming, where he would earn his Bachelors and Masters degrees in Political Science – amongst people capable of forming opinions of him based on more than any conspicuous contempt for so-called "debate" and "didacticism."

Morbi tellus lectus, tellus aliquam felis, luctus interdum augue libero vel sapien. Donec diam velit, aliquam in, luctus vel, tincidunt ac, wisi.facilisis vel, cursus vel, laoreet ac, metus. Donec tincidunt, nisl eu pharetra volutpat, quam tellus mattis ante, nec gravida leo ante et urna. Proin nunc mi, fe his first position as a Special Assistant in the Nixon administration Morbi tellus lectus, luctus vel, tincidunt ac, wisi.facilisis vel, cursus vel, luctus interdum augue libero vel sapien. Donec diam velit, aliquam in, luctus vel, tincidunt ac, wisi.facilisis vel, cursus vel, luctus vel, tincidunt ac, wisi.facilisis vel, cursus vel, laoreet ac, metus. luctus vel, tincidunt ac, wisi.facilisis vel, cursus vel, laoreet ac, metus. Donec tincidunt, nisl eu pharetra volutpat, quam tellus mattis ante, nec thereby avoiding post-Watergate prosecution and rising to prominence as the ambitious protégé of Donald Rumsfeld during the administration of Gerald Ford.

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During the first term of Executive President George H.W. Bush, Cheney would serve as Secretary of Defense, in which capacity he would Nullam risus justo, ultricies non, imperdiet eget, sollicitudin vitae, sem. Integer pretium massa in risus. Fusce venenatis. Sed egestas purus in felis. Duis vel erat. Nunc et nunc. Donec ac enim. Morbi Duis vel erat. Nunc et nunc. Donec ac enim. Morbi laoreet risus vitae sem. imperdiet eget, sollicitudin vitae, sem. Integer pretium massa in risus. Morbi a purus. Fusce venenatis. Sed egestas purus in felis. Duis vel erat. Nunc et nunc. Donec ac enim. Morbi laoreet risus vitae sem. Vestibulum dictum est sit amet ipsum.

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After the 1992 voluntary departure from office of George H.W. Bush, Cheney would enter the private sector for a number of years before becoming Vice President. Specifically, he served as CEO of Halliburton Corporation, the world's largest oilfield services and products company and Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci. There, in the interest of his future need for bipartisan cooperation, he would dispense with his longstanding contempt for government regulation and subsidies – successfully winning over $3.5 billion in federal contracts and taxpayer-insured loans on behalf of Halliburton's understandably impatient and deserving stockholders.

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As Vice President, Mr. Cheney assumes the role of the CEO should George W. Bush ever be rendered unable to perform his duties, whether due to absence, illness, hangover, shin-splints, abject ineptitude, and/or being Raptured to Glory.

The very picture of cardiological resilience, Dick Cheney is married to his high school sweetheart and noted author of lesbian erotica, Mrs. Dick Cheney. Mr. Cheney's star sign is Aquarius. He enjoys movies, low-impact walks in the park, JUGGS magazine, and collecting all manner of contemporary evangelical pamphlets.




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